Port-a-loos Dominated as Round Mountain Girls Rock Sawtell Chilli Fest

RMG continued their wave of destruction along the east coast of Australia, this time savaging Sawtell, a small village south of Coffs Harbour. Kenny Sfinkta-Colon, a local portaloo operator described the post-festival carnage as "...the worst damage to my gear.... ever!"

Mr Sfinkta-Colon went on to express his anger at RMG and their highly uplifting and feel good tunes. "If it weren't for those pesky purveyors of punkabilly-popgrass, my portaloos’d probably be in one piece".

It is alleged RMG operated outside of OHS guidelines and encouraged the audience to take in more chilli than they could handle. Excess quantities of chilli mixed with a large dosage of alcohol and shaken by vigorous dancing culminated in a red hot explosion of catastrophic proportions...a dunny disaster no less. Fortunately for RMG, one Gupta Ravishankar was on hand to diffuse the situation....literally. Not only did Mr Ravishankar discuss and sort out issues with OHS, he single handedly extinguished one portaloo after it had been dominated using an old trick he'd learnt from his medical days. As the portaloo went up in what could only be described as cyclonic force, he bravely emptied a gallon tub of yoghurt onto the burning vesicle with the aid of a sock, a belt, and an RMG T-shirt he'd purchased in 2009. He then used slices of cucumber to calm and sooth by-standers caught up in the blast.  

Thankfully, RMG were able to continue their show, not only rocking the audience but also the stage which had also been considerably dominated by external chilli force rendering the shock absorbers flaccid. RMG and Mr Shankar thank organisers for a brilliant festival. The Sawtell Pub feels like our home away from home now.